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When we first started hanging out, day after day, spending all those afternoons getting stoned in your room and listening to all the music we loved, you asked me if I had a song called Martha by Jefferson Airplane. I didn't and you were shocked. You proceeded to tell me about this song, it was about a fan who married the front man. As I watched the video of you telling me about this song, while rolling our next joint and with Love's The Red Telephone playing in the background, I think a part of me just dissolved into this acidic wave of anger and sadness. I couldn't help but think to myself; If I were to type all of this out onto a blog entry, would you one day read it and smile to yourself like I did? Would you feel as sad and as lonely as I do right now? We were so lucky. Dare I say, it was almost as perfect as J.D and Turk's Guy Love, or nearly as perfect as Mark and Jeremy's squabbles.
After nearly 3 years of knowing you, I finally got the song.
Now Playing: Martha – Jefferson Airplane
Besides the fact that this is true, my life has been everything but wonderful. I have taken to faith now: Oh lord of positivity, send your plus signs into my life... or you can just go ahead and negative the shit outta my life because frankly, I'm too tired to care.
Now Playing: Calvin Harris – Burns Night
“Have you ever lost yourself in a kiss? I mean pure
psychedelic inebriation. Not just lustful petting but transcendental
metamorphosis when you became aware that the greatness of this being was
breathing into you. Licking the sides and corners of your mouth, like
sealing a thousand fleshy envelopes filled with the essence of your
passionate being and then opened by the same mouth and delivered back to
you, over and over again – the first kiss of the rest of your life. A
kiss that confirms that the universe is aligned, that the world’s
greatest resource is love, and maybe even that God is a woman. With or
without a belief in God, all kisses are metaphors decipherable by
allocations of time, circumstance, and understanding.”
– Saul Williams
Now Playing: For Lovers - Peter Doherty & Wolfman
So, this is what it feels like. To have time slip through your fingers so quickly, I didn't even have time to react. I'm having trouble adjusting to this insanely mundane lifestyle.
Which category would you like to pick next? Misery for 25 cents! The epitome of boredom, no one ever wants to have anything to do with this. What is, a mundane work lifestyle? YOU HAVE JUST WON 25 CENTS!
Fucking hell, my life has become a category on Jeopardy. Apart from that, I have realized that getting a degree automatically qualifies that you are a totally legit gold digger, by work standards. You own a degree? You now have the power to demand more than you should be rightfully paid! Yes, so I have decided that the whole, I'm-going-to-struggle-with-a-diploma-and-make-it-to-the-top-like-a-true-teen-hero-and-earn-more-than-you-degree-holding-bastards mission should be aborted and I will succumb to national peer pressure. I don't have a school in mind, really because I've been thinking about this my whole life. In other unrelated news, I am aching to go for a concert as good as The Stone Roses one. And as of late, I've been listening to an insane amount of Liam Gallagher whining his heart out. Yes, I still stay sufficiently high during reasonable hours on an acceptable number of days a week. I miss my friends, I miss alcohol, I miss late nights and I miss being a very angst ridden teen full of bullshit but fairly creative ideas. Also, I'm blogging now because that is how boring office life is.
Now Playing: Flowers In The Window - Travis
