hey raj

Often when I write answers in an exam paper, I picture my Dad explaining my answers to me in that logical tone which he always, always uses to explain something, anything in fact, to me and my brother. I hear his voice and his tone, right down to the way he says because. BE-cause; extra emphasis on the 'be' followed by a slightly calm 'cause.' After the exam paper, I usually find myself, psycho-analyzing myself; my mind's choice of voice and reasoning. It's almost as if, my conscious mind had become a patient and I, my hollow self, has turned into a shrink. A shrink for myself for the next fifty seconds of silence besides the stench of relief and fear in the air and the monotonous voice of the invigilator telling the whisperers to shut the fuck up, while I'm just sitting down screwing with my brain. I actually miss the entire experience: the anticipation, the distractions, everyone else's hilarious thinking face, one of the rare moments in life where time is worshiped like a God. I miss the little moments in between thinking for an answer and writing down the answer, that moment in between where I share this special bond with this voice, with my Dad's voice. This Father-Daughter like bond, this mutual connection. It's one of those rare moments when my Dad can actually agree with me and my thoughts. I am completely aware of the fact that it's just my own consciousness taking the form of my Dad's voice and communicating with me. It's just that moment when my Dad's voice starts telling me the answers I've constructed myself in my head, I picture him looking completely content and satisfied with the way I'm handling my life, with the way I turned out to be, with what I've accomplished so far. Mr. Maniyam, ladies and gentlemen.


Now playing: The Beatles - Come Together
via FoxyTunes

weekday sex, drugs & rock'n'roll

My thoughts progressively change, it's almost as if my subconscious mind was so heavily in demand, that it's critical that I alter my visions to meet today's standards in society. It's riveting how the mind matures; how one's perception of what's cool and what's not changes with age. We change at a natural rate depending on how our current metabolic state is. Some choose not to change because routine is necessary or because they're comfortable, for now. But what really affects what you perceive to be cool and not? Something so raw and infinite like the human mind is so hard to judge. It is so, so, very, in fact, very hard to judge. How we perceive and how we experience differs from human to human. The subconscious mind is far more and to be able to tap into that 94 percent of your mind is a miracle in itself. The conscious mind is careful with it's thought processes, it is careful not to break any rules, it is well aware of the consequences, it is controlled by our emotions, it is fearful of the outcome. The subconscious mind knows no limitations, it exists in an alternate reality filled with possibilities and what if's. There are no consequences, it is fearless of the outcome, it is beyond our control, it is fearless of the outcome, it is so intricate and complex. But, it is so fragile, that the conscious mind has the ability to break it off instantaneously. Time is nothing but a variable in the subconscious mind. Savor each second you share with your subconscious mind because in today's society we need agents to allow us into it. It is indeed a sad reality but why not break away from all that normality of life and allow yourself to indulge. Take my hand and I will lead you there, an endless road to fuck knows where.



Now playing: Butthole Surfers - Pepper
via FoxyTunes

every true blue monday

Have you ever lost yourself in a kiss? I mean pure psychedelic inebriation. Not just lustful petting but transcendental metamorphosis when you became aware that the greatness of this being was breathing into you. Licking the sides and corners of your mouth, like sealing a thousand fleshy envelopes filled with the essence of your passionate being and then opened by the same mouth and delivered back to you, over and over again – the first kiss of the rest of your life. A kiss that confirms that the universe is aligned, that the world’s greatest resource is love, and maybe even that God is a woman. With or without a belief in God, all kisses are metaphors decipherable by allocations of time, circumstance, and understanding.
- Saul Williams

It's a pity if you haven't.


Now playing: Bob Marley & The Wailers - Waiting In Vain
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seven things you didn't need to know about Sheila

1. Sheila is a song by Atlas Sound which I've been playing on repeat for five days now.
2. Sheila is derived from the Latin word Caecus, meaning Blind and is actually of Irish origin.
3. Sheila is a popular Australian slang for an attractive lady.
4. Sheila is a song by Jamie T, which reminds me of someone I know called Sheila, and it's about this girl called Sheila who gets drunk on the streets of London and tragically drowns in the River Thames.
5. Sheela (pronounced Sheila) is a common Sanskrit name, meaning Noble.
6. Sheela-Na-Gig is not only my favorite song by PJ Harvey, but Sheela-Na-Gigs are actually figurative carvings of naked women with exaggerated vulvas, commonly found on churches and castles, believed to keep evil spirits away.
7. Sheila is all of that and also my cousin from Sydney who's weird and screwed up in every possible way. She sprained my dog's right leg once by trying to carry her. Every time people tell me we look alike, a part of me dies inside.


Now playing: Atlas Sound - Sheila
via FoxyTunes