smiles & shit

I keep getting these migraines on the left side of my brain. It's fascinating, for me, since I hardly ever got migraines, in my entire 18 years of existence actually. I keep wondering how, why and maybe. Maybe, it's just the weather. Maybe, it's my ear pieces, loud music perhaps. Or not. I don't know. I had this dream last night. Maybe it's that. Because it was one of those conscious dreams. The ones where you're semi-conscious but still so deep in sleep; mom yells and you just don't hear her. It keeps running through my head, only because, you were in it. And what you did in it, in front of the people we are closest to. Weird. Strange. Almost, surreal. Definitely. I can't find the words, the right words. I refuse to embarrass myself with such details. Even though I know, it will almost, completely jeopardize our friendship, I have to admit. I saw myself smiling. Haven't truthfully done that in some time. False smiles everyday. But you. I never expected you. I just cannot. I just can't, digress. And the re-runs, regardless the number, shock me everytime. I can't comprehend. This dream. I know it's going to be a deja-vu moment. I know because you were real in it. Your smile was real. But for now, I don't want to step on the shit we always do. I enjoy our shit. It's too much fun to destroy.